I Let Them Get Away

Okay, so maybe it was their choice, but it was my fault. I'm talking about the girls I had in arms' reach but let slip away. I'm not talking about anything recent, though. Don't worry. I'm talking a number of years back. Oh, those were the years! Or were they? I used to think I would trade anything to have those times back, but I've learned so much from my mistakes and am glad I have been able to move on and learn from my shallow living and petty thinking. But maybe if I went back, I could do the right thing. Maybe? I am not sure.

I had two or three very good female friends back then that showed obvious signs that they wanted to see what could happen between us. They were confident and mature about it, but I never saw that for some reason. I went along for a while; but then, as always, I was stupid and dismissed them for whatever reason, and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. One instance sticks in my mind above all the others, and I eventually made the #2 stupidest decision in my life. Easily top 2, maybe #1... it's close. If only I knew then what I know now, I really think things today would be different. Both situations are eerily similar, and I regret how I handled both of them.

I always knew what was really important. But for some reason, I never acted on it. Now I know and recognize it, and now I really know what I want in a girl; and I am doing my best to make them match. The two whom I let slip away are still very good friends of mine, and I wouldn't change anything right now, even if I could! That is definitely not what I am saying. Do not take this the wrong way. Friendship is the most important thing. Period!! Both of them are very happy, and I'm not about to wish anything different upon them whatsoever. I am thrilled for both of them! I am merely blogging to vent about my stupidity and how I used to treat people back then. I even got a 2nd chance with one of them, this coming after I thought I had gotten past my old self. But I think I did the damage the first time around and never stood a chance.

So, a word from the wise to the up-and-coming: Find out now what is really important in a relationship. Not what is cool, not what is "in," and not what gets you the most acceptance or popularity. What is important? Make a mental note, write it down, something. Then, never stray from that core list of values in your "search" for that special person. But, friendship is the ultimate goal. Maybe I suggest not to go out searching at all? God's timing is the ultimate guide. You can search, you can try all you want. But I really believe that person God has meant for you will find you, and visa versa. Dont' stress yourself out, or else the stress will be your self-induced relationship hindrance! Yes, I speak from experience.

May God continue to bless you!
-Marcum